5 Signs Your Husband Is Gay | Lifescript.com

5 Signs Your Husband Is Gay | Lifescript.com

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5 Signs Your Husband Is Gay
By Matthew Kayser
One of the worst fears you have as a married woman is to one day find out that your husband is gay. Regardless of society’s level of acceptance of homosexuality, the thought of your spouse being gay is one that brings sadness and disappointment. No woman wants to discover that her husband is gay.

With that said, some women will attest to the relief that comes from finding out their spouse is gay after enduring a long and painful marriage. Still, the news tends to be devastating to women, particularly women who have raised a child with a gay spouse.

If you have a suspicion that your husband is gay, the following information will help you determine if your suspicions could be correct. First, we will discuss why you need to know if he is gay or not. Next, we will review some of the many signs that might be an accurate indicator of his homosexuality.

Why do you need to know if you have a gay husband?
While some people have argued that a marriage can survive with one heterosexual spouse and one gay spouse, the majority of research points in the opposite direction. There are certain instances of women discovering that a husband is homosexual and still accepting him as a spouse. This is seen particularly in a scenario where children are involved. The wife wants to keep the family together, no matter what. The need for the children to have their father around and the desire to model a traditional family is often so overwhelming that some women place their mental health and emotional wellbeing at risk.
This is the most complicated part of this discussion. First of all, it is important for you to realize that you should never assume that your husband is gay. There may be several signs that point in that direction, but until you know for sure, do not assume. You will be putting unnecessary strain on you and your family.

Let’s look at some of the signs that may indicate your husband prefers men. Remember that effeminate qualities in a man do not necessarily mean that he is gay. So it is wise to rule out some of the stereotypes often associated with gay men, such as having a lisp or carrying himself a certain way.

Another sign people often associate with a man being homosexual is his tendency to be overly sensitive or caring. It is somewhat ironic that most wives would love to have a spouse who is emotional and caring, yet it is automatically assumed that a man is gay when he expresses these traits. It isn’t fair to equate a man who is gentle, caring and emotional with a man who is homosexual.

Now that you have heard this disclaimer, let’s go over the signs that are reliable and that have withstood the test of time. One thing to look for is extreme homophobic behavior. If your husband turns almost militantly angry when confronted by someone who is gay, it may indicate that your husband is gay. This doesn’t make sense at first, but a deeper analysis will explain why.
People often lash out at those who embody traits they do not like about themselves. If someone is frustratingly shy, they may grow furious when seeing someone struggle to express him or herself. They are in fact empathizing with that person, but it does not come across that way.
If your husband continually makes “gay” jokes, or has revealed a certain amount of rage towards homosexuals or homosexual behavior, let that be a warning sign to you. Of course, he may just be very much opposed to the gay lifestyle. But at least consider the possibility.

It is now easier than ever to gain access to all types of pornography. Because it is also possible to track what people are viewing, it is widely considered a risk to view online material that is considered inappropriate in one’s particular setting. If your husband has consistently viewed homosexual pornography, remember that he probably would not be doing it if he did not enjoy it. It is simply too risky an activity to merely “check out”.

Your husband may also be receiving an inordinate amount of phone calls from men. If they are men you do not know or men that your husband does not willingly bring to your attention (such as an old friend from high school who happened to get in touch with him), be concerned.
Guys typically do like to hang out with each other unless it is in a group setting. Too much alone time with one man is a sign that perhaps your husband is gay. At the very least, you can suspect that he is involved in a level of intimacy with his male friend that he should be saving for you. Trust your instincts in this situation. If you really feel as though something strange is going on, there is probably a legitimate reason.

Another sign that may suggest you have a problem on your hands is if your husband suddenly loses sexual interest in you. If he is difficult to arouse or seems to be on another planet mentally during intimate moments, look into it. Communication is an essential element when trying to discover the truth. Of course, you can always ask your spouse why he appears to be distant during these intimate times.

Be careful not to approach your spouse in an accusatory manner, despite how worried you may be that he is gay. If he does not offer an explanation that is believable, search deeper. You have every right to probe because it is your future and your family’s wellbeing on the line.
Hopefully, you have the means and the fortitude to handle the situation with grace and dignity. People make mistakes. If your husband made the mistake of marrying you when he knew he was gay, you will eventually need to forgive him.

This is especially true if you have children. You want to demonstrate to them how to handle difficult situations and there is perhaps no better opportunity to do this than when you are discovering the truth about their father. If you have suspicions, remember that the above signs are usually good indicators that your husband is gay.

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